The Life-Changing Magic of Losing Your Shit and Getting It Back Again.
Have you lost your magic? Do you believe you can get in back in your life and career?
Have you lost your magic? Do you believe you can get it back?
Despite all the courage I can muster, the fact is that losing your health and happiness for over 12 years sucked. I work with people on life and career pivots and transitioning because of my experience. I always say don't let my past become your future.
The irony is though without that past I would not be here sharing this blog post with the world.
Truth is, however, something of this magnitude is traumatic. Years on from it all and having regained it all back I still feel the panic. Even when I write about my experiences there is a tightness in my body.
It is still there the reality that I could lose it all again. You take nothing for granted but you grant yourself space and grace to keep it this way.
But that takes hard work. It takes showing up even when you don't want to. It takes being vulnerable. It takes being able to adapt to change. I am always evolving for the better on a physical and emotional level.
I compare myself to shapeshifter! A bit magical and mystical in my ability to transform my physical and mental shape or form.
It comes with my nutrition and training knowledge! Every time I train to build or cut similar to my former bodybuilding background I reveal or add on layers.
In each of these layers, I discover something more valuable about myself. Being able to manipulate my training and nutrition to achieve a certain physical shape is probably more science than magic! But in my world that magic is my medicine.
I am privileged to be able to do that. I have the backup of people who believe in me to sustain and maintain this state of well being. An important point to note here is to stick with the people who pull the magic out of you and not the madness!
I take full responsibility for losing my shit. The truth is, losing things that matter most is a harsh reminder that circumstances can change in an instant.
For me, it’s left a long adrenaline hangover that makes my thoughts frantic at times and my focus a bit distracted.
It makes life uncertain. But, isn't that the way it is supposed to be? Without uncertainty, there is no risk. Without risk, there are no answers. I ask myself these questions a lot about my life, health and my business. The fear is real.
What if I lose it?
Will I get it back?
I replay how it might happen in a thousand different ways. But somewhere amidst the fear and frustration and guilt is the adrenaline fix of having to start all over again.
And I know I can. So can you.
As I grow older, my transitions from one stage of my life to the next have become less hurried. Rather than full-on restarts, change now looks like layers. The layers I spoke of before. Ones that I add on in a slow and controlled manner and then peel away.
This grounds me in the reality that anything worth having takes time but is possible.
It is also a reminder of what’s fragile, and what’s robust. We as humans are resilient if we reinforce our belief in ourselves. I remind myself that losing my shit even though it sucked is the ultimate version of reinvention.
Life can be brutal at times. It takes things away at random. Then it makes you fight to get them back so that you remember and reaffirm the value of each one. So each new week and month, I start over and over again, and I peel away more layers to reveal something new and more magic as I write this.
What magic have you lost that you want to work on getting back?
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My Mid-Life Crisis Taught Me How To Pivot!
What can a mid-life crisis teach you about pivoting? Lots!
What can a mid-life crisis teach you about pivoting?
Lots, mine certainly did not kill me it built me to be more resilient, focused and go after what I want in life.
Whether you’re leaving:
1. A secure job and an MBA with many years of learning and experience under your belt
Or
2. A teaching role for a career as a personal trainer.
Don’t be afraid to pivot later in life. After all, your 40's are a chance to redefine and rediscover yourself. You are young enough still to take chances and old enough to make them more wisely. You can still move in different directions. That may work for some, but for others, it can mean starting back at the bottom of each new industry.
That is the risk you have to be sure you are willing to take.
Do you want to find an industry you love or the freedom that comes with being your own boss?
For me, my pivots now make sense as mad as they seemed at the time!
When I look back, I see the story of my life and career. It’s not random it is exciting. It made me more interesting and relatable. Believe me, if I can do it so can you!
Here’s an idea of how I pulled it off.
1. What does your gut tell you?
One useful piece advice I can give you is to stick with your gut. Assess what you’re really good at to help direct your move, even if it doesn’t feel “strategic.”
It’s not that you shouldn’t be rational about your pivot, but honing in on your strengths and what gets you fired up is the first step to figure out what to do next.
2. Leverage your skills.
If you’re looking to pivot into a new industry or business ownership make sure to highlight your “transferable skills.” There is a lot that can count as transferable.
Yes, of course, you will need to develop other skill sets, but what do you have now in your success bank to withdraw?
Finally, a word of comfort...
Having a mid 40's career crisis is nothing new, but the rates at which people are doing something about it are increasing. Look for inspiration and expand your network with people who have pivoted and overcome challenges in the process.
Staying current and doing work that gives us purpose and fulfillment in align with our values is why so many of us take the risk. You are not too old, and it is never too late to redefine yourself.
Don’t let fear hold you back. You’ll wind up someplace better, even if it takes you awhile to get there.
Be patient.
For more details on career or pivot coaching and consulting contact me at pauline@paulineharley.com. You can join my waitlist for a complimentary consultation here.
When The Dark Clouds Of Doubt Disappear.
Do you ever feel like you are under a dark cloud that shadows your every move?
Do you ever feel like you are under a dark cloud that shadows your every move?
I took this great image over the weekend. I am so stimulated by my environment now I embrace it. It brings me never-ending inspiration to fill my head with words and write them. When dark clouds obscured my view in my past I saw nothing. I felt nothing. I had no words.
I never would allow the sun in to lift the dark clouds and ease my gloom. I always had a feeling of impending doom for 12 years in my life. I was stuck in my head and my heart was breaking. I had no direction in my life or career. I didn't know me.
I couldn't hear me, nobody could see me. I was invisible. I had no voice.
What silver lining? It was all bullshit! It did not exist in my world. This is what the image would have looked like before.
Do you ever feel like that? That you are under a dark cloud that shadows your every move?
Are you encouraging it to follow you around though? Sometimes we can carry invisible dark clouds with us in life. The ones that cloud our vision with lies and distortions of our truth. Distracting us from who we are and what we want in life. My dark cloud was self-doubt which in turn led to a lack of self-compassion.
It was all made up though. I created it. And so I brought those dark clouds around to rain on my parade and that of others I will admit every day.
It eroded my confidence for years.
What happened when I let the sun into my head and my heart?
I began to start loving myself and others. I started living. I changed my life, my outlook, my work, and brought who I am and what I stand for to the surface.
When there’s a dark cloud chasing you, sometimes all you need is love.
The kind that understands and sees you for who you are, what you stand for and who you will be when you let go of the shadows. This week let the dark clouds part and the reality of your human existence shines through.
Give me one good reason why it is not worth letting the light in.
For more details on consulting packages see here . To book a ten minute complimentary call email me at pauline@paulineharley.com